Part III - Filling voids...

July 2017, New York Botanical Garden - close up of Chihuly's gigantic hot glass piece (Canon Rebel iT6)

We all have voids we are trying to fill one way or another. Can you think of ways that you're doing this for yourself?

Personally, when I slowed down and thought of what I was doing I realized I had become the most social person of the year and knew all the happy hour spots, drank out of control until my speech was slurred and I could barely balance on my feet. Had different *"meaningless" dates on the calendar each week and engaged in sexual activities just because "I had to have it." I was exhausted as not slowing down was catching up to me… not only physically but emotionally and mentally as well. I didn't know why I was so cranky and unhappy because I did not know how to identify these things. I became snappy and negative because of my lack of energy and felt miserable since nothing of what I was doing was helping me feel better. 

Now you might say… "well you kinda should have known better?" But believe me, any excuse is plausible when you're trying to run away from pain and to fill a bottomless empty glass. I used to live a life full of voids. I got distracted while filling my voids in the wrong places and I lost track and direction. For many long years I fought for control of my life nonetheless still making one too many silly decisions that led me down the rabbit hole.

I finally realized something had to change. It would have been insane to pretend to live the same cycle that was getting me nowhere… As I started searching, the answer found me and this is what I want to share with you… but allow me first to ask you something:

Has this ever happened to you? Are you searching for something today? Do you feel peace in your life or has it banished recently and left you wanting for more?

"Life is not merely to be alive, but to be well."  Marcus Valerius Martial

*Disclaimer - by meaningless I don't mean to put anyone down. It means just dates that I knew would not lead anywhere because of our differences but dates I still decided to go on because they were just meant to fill time.